Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
