So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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