Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
