P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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