Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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