maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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