nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ugly people sure do ruin things
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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