i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
