i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
