I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
