I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
