It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
