We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have aggressive nipples.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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