Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
