I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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