They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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