Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
