i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
