Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
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he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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