i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
