I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
