i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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