bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
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you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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