Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
