just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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