I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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