redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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