Yo dont text me then not text me
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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