the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Farmville is her only friend.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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