Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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