I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
