i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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