A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
