Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
