Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
