He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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