she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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