You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
smell my finger.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
