Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
