Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
