I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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