this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
