Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
