I just pynch a tree in the face
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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