Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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