fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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