I need help removing her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
