super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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