He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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