I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize