Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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