I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
