Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
