I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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