Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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