The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
