3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
