Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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