My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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