just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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