Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
