maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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